Monday, November 30, 2009

Claudine Dombrowski Shawnee County Case Number 96D217 Testimony before the Kansas Senate Children's Committee 11-30-2009 part one of two

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Battered Mothers Rights - A Human Rights Issue.

Permalink

clip_image001_thumbclip_image002_thumbclip_image003_thumbclip_image004_thumbclip_image005_thumb

clip_image007_thumb

Claudine Dombrowski

Shawnee County Case Number 96D217

Claudine was a psychiatric LPN. Now she is disabled and though a cane is medically indicated, she continues to be mobile on her own. The father owns his own business in Topeka. The abuse started when she was four months pregnant when she found out he was married to another woman. The child was already 11 months old before they were married in late 1995. Four months after marrying, the father filed for divorce in March 1996. In May 1996, mother asked for permission to move with the child to another city in Kansas because of the closing of a hospital where she worked. She had obtained employment in the other city and it would help her escape from his unremitting violence. Permission to move was granted. Four days later, father filed to change custody of the child to him.

During the course of the litigation, he admitted hitting Claudine and that it was a reason for her to leave the home but claimed it was not the reason she left every time. He admitted he told her to leave, pushed her out of the home, and paid no child support. He admitted to twisting her leg and scratching her face. According to her, he beat her 2 - 3 times a week. He pointed and cocked a shot gun at her while she was feeding the baby. He cut up her military uniform. He beat her when the baby dirtied the house. She was kicked out, locked out and would leave 3-4 times a week to escape the violence. Often she was gone for 2-3 weeks to maintain her safety and that of the child. Though she had a perfectly valid reason to leave and was in fact protecting the child, court personnel later used that to claim she would hide the child and therefore he should have custody.

In one incident, he hit her in the head so severely she required 14 internal stitches and 14 external stitches. When the court questioned the parties about this on the stand, the judge was far more worried about where it happened and who was telling the truth than the admitted and verifiable fact that he did hit her in the head with an object that left that much damage. Whether he hit her in the head with a big stick in his driveway or he hit her in the head with a tire iron in her apartment – he hit her in the head resulting in severe injury. The judge however lectured both parties about lying. See Exhibit 1 for photos of the petitioner after beatings by the child’s father.

While the father admitted the abuse, he claimed it was mutual combat. However not only did she have a protection order against him, but the man has eight criminal convictions - three convictions for domestic violence against her, a conviction for a bar fight, a conviction for assaulting a police officer, a conviction for obstruction of justice, one for possession of marijuana and one for driving under the influence. Pursuant to his various convictions, he was ordered to attend alcohol treatment – he didn’t. He was ordered to a psychiatric evaluation – he didn’t go. He was ordered to anger management classes but was asked to leave because of his inappropriate behavior. Domestic violence professionals know that anger management is not a suggested treatment modality for domestic violence perpetrators.

Court personnel not only were blind to the violence, they were completely ignorant of safety issues for the mother and child. Dr. Bernie Nobo, a licensed social worker, testified that it was a volatile situation. He actually had to stop the father from assaulting the mother in a meeting. Still he said there was no danger to the child but suggested she might hide to protect herself. In fact, that would be a very sensible thing to do. He diagnosed her as primarily depressed and the father as adjustment disorder with mixed emotional features (depression or anxiety). Not only is depression a reasonable response to the situation, but as a social worker, he is not qualified to make such diagnosis. Nobo did say her parenting was fine and he recommended supervised visitation to father.

The court services officer knew of the domestic violence and in fact listed it as the biggest concern. But rather than deal with the perpetrator, she suggested that the child should be put into foster care – thereby punishing the child who would lose a perfectly good loving and protective mother and would punish the mother for being a victim of abuse. The officer claimed the mother was a risk to run though she admitted she had never had any trouble contacting her. The officer was more concerned that the father have access to the child than the safety of the child or the mother.

Kansas statutes require joint custody unless there is a reason for sole and the GAL recommended custody to father because he lived near the court while mother had moved out of town (with the court’s permission) and he wanted to keep this child near the other three step-children from other marriages of the father. The GAL never talked to the mother or child, to the day care or the child’s physician nor did he do a home study. The GAL said the violence was so far fetched he didn’t believe it though he only knew of one conviction for DUI and never talked to the battered women’s shelter. Astonishingly, the GAL recommended the mother go to anger management classes.

On April 17, 1997 during a settlement conference, the mother was stunned by her own attorney suggesting she agree to a joint custody arrangement with a man she knew to be extremely dangerous. Her lawyer and the judge threatened the mother that he would grant sole custody to the father because allegedly she would not work together with him. This of course completely discounts the impossibility of working with a man as violent as this perpetrator. Though admitting that the violence lessened when she moved away, the judge said he would give shared custody only if she moved back to Topeka where the father lived and where the violence occurred. Forcing her to resettle in Topeka near the perpetrator, a routine practice of family courts, is the state forcing her directly into danger. It is a violation of the fundamental rights of life, safety and to be free from torture and other maltreatment. Essentially the court required the mother to give up her right to life and safety for custody of child. She did. Only to lose custody as well. She agreed to the settlement only to change attorneys and file a motion to set aside four days later.

In 1998, the child's doctor reported the child had very poor hygiene when staying with father. The day care provider reported a change in her behavior after being with the father. She became either withdrawn or aggressive. A nurse requested an investigation of psychological abuse because of his treatment of the child.

On 31 July 2000, without any motion from either party and without a hearing, the judge simply issued an order that the mother had to relocate to Topeka if she wanted any possibility of obtaining custody. She did so but then in August, the judge ordered the child to remain with the father. In December 2000, supervised visitation was ordered for mother because she had allegedly returned the child late to the fathers over Christmas. They suspended all contact for several months and then she was allowed two hours a week supervised. The bizarre behavior of the courts was evident from as early as 1998 when they granted a divorce twice as evidenced by their own records – April 17 and October 28, 1998.

At the time of this filing, the mother had supervised visits once a week after having had no contact for 10 months based on an ex parte order without an evidentiary hearing issued 3 February 2004. At time of this filing, the mother had last seen the child on 15 April 2007 for one hour.

Over these 11 years of litigation, the judge was changed several times. One judge limited each side to five witnesses at trial and then continued to call them liars when they could not prove what they had said or disprove what the other had said because they were prohibited from calling witnesses. While the judge chastised the father for game playing in the court, he then berated the mother for not coming to agreement with the father. He could see how unreasonable the father was and the judge was not subject to violence from the man but yet he blamed the mother for not reaching an agreement. He said any child in this situation would grow up damaged but then blamed the mother rather than the father who was the one committing the violence. The judged focused on the mother’s move to escape the violence rather than the harm of the violence itself. The court excluded evidence of his extensive criminal record, medical records and other records of violence. In addition to mother, other witnesses knew of the violence and that the child witnessed it. But still the court saw no danger to the child.

In spite of an order of protection against the father and his eight criminal convictions, three against her, one judge said it was mutual violence and besides she provoked it. He said there was no evidence that the father mistreated the children and ordered joint custody and both parties to anger management. She was ordered not to call law enforcement about the father without getting permission of the case manager. In other words, he could assault her freely and she was not allowed to even call the police. She was told to stop gathering evidence against the father. In March 2005, she was ordered not to file any more motions in the court without permission from the case manager – she had filed a motion to remove that case manager. In other words, she was even denied access to the court.

The complete failure of the court to protect the victim continued after father received custody. When she complained that the father forced her to have sex if she wanted to see the child, the case manager said that it was just part of co-parenting so deal with it.

She appealed twice to the Supreme Court of Kansas. In the appeal, she alleged not just for herself but that the policies and procedures of the Kansas courts denied the right to a full and fair hearing, denied equal protection and due process, and violated fundamental rights. She first filed in 1997, the appellate court affirmed the lower court in 1998 and the Supreme Court rejected review in 1999. She appealed again in 1999 and again the appellate court affirmed the lower court in 2000.

In July 2002, mother again regained unsupervised visitation.

On 25 August 2003, Claudine was attacked with a hammer and her arm broken by Kathleen Sales. Sales later admitted she was paid by the father who assured her no charges would be filed. They weren’t.

On 3 February 2004, false allegations were made against mother that she sought to have harm done to the father. The mother objected to the order and asked for an evidentiary hearing. The request was never even heard. By March 2005, mother had only supervised visitation that has remained to this day.

In March 2002, Dr. Dale did an evaluation for unsupervised visits with mother and recommendation for therapy. The evaluation cost $5,000 and father admitted violence and the mother was found not to be any danger to the father or child. She was however ordered to shut down her web site that she had constructed. On the website she expressed her opinion and her facts about the case and the danger the child was being put into by the court. In a second order later, she was ordered to remove the child’s photo from another website. After this evaluation, she had unsupervised visitation from May 2002 until 3 February 2004.

Repeatedly when father files motions, they are heard with negative consequences for mother and child based on the flimsiest of evidence or none at all. But when mother files motions, they are never even heard. A home study ordered into the father’s home in February 2006 was never done. On 14 April 2006, the court held a conference in chambers and refused to allow the mother to attend. The court changed the orders from a home study of father to a study of mother to assess her risk to the child. The evaluation found no risk and was positive for mother. Still supervised visitation was not changed.

In a hearing on 10 April 2007, the mother has asked yet again that the child be protected from abuse and at least she have unsupervised visitation. Again the court refused. The child spoke out in 2003 and three CPS reports have been filed but in all three, they claimed that the mother coached the child who is now 12 and certainly able to speak for herself and punished both mother and child by restricting visitation time further. The lesson is clear – don’t report abuse.

 

 

Technorati Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Battered Mothers Rights - A Human Rights Issue.

Permalink

Claudine Dombrowski Shawnee County Case Number 96D217 Testimony before the Kansas Senate Children's Committee 11-30-2009 part two of two

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Battered Mothers Rights - A Human Rights Issue.

Permalink

clip_image001clip_image002clip_image003clip_image004clip_image005

clip_image007

The written testimony that you have was filed at the Inter American commission Human Rights IACHR known as Dombrowski v US 2007 For the Policy and procedure of Family/Juvenile Courts routinely placing battered mothers children with abusers and pedophiles. The State of Kansas and the Kansas Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault are Hard Copy signors to the petition which can be viewed in its entirety on the Stop Family Violence web site.

The Inter-American Commission on Human Rights was created in 1959 and is expressly authorized to examine allegations of human rights violations by members of the Organization of American States, which include the United States. It also carries out on-site visits to observe the general human rights situations in all 35 member states of the Organization of American States and to investigate specific allegations of violations of Inter-American human rights treaties. Its charge is to promote the observance and the defense of human rights in the Americas.

The Court’s record is complete, as well as a simple Google search of my name for any more information and court records on this case alone are available as they are to massive to even begin to present here.

My name is Claudine Dombrowski, I am a US Army Veteran. I was a psychiatric nurse for thirteen years with the State of Kansas and the Veterans Administration. Until December 2000 when I was placed on 100% physical disability related to the violence inflicted by the batterer.

In May of 1996 I was given permission to relocate to western Kansas to avoid the ‘unremitting violence that I and my daughter suffered at the hands of the batterer,’ Per stated the Court Order after and admitted by the abuser that he had had beat me with a heavy object causing 24 internal and external stitches for a head injury I sustained.

In July 2000 without any motion from any party the Judge simply on his own issued a 11 page Order by ‘snail mail’ giving complete custody of my 6 year old daughter to an admitted and convicted batterer known to have a violent history and illicit drug and alcohol abuse… I was immediately placed in supervised visits after a complete suspension of any contact with my daughter after I was violently raped and beaten again by the perpetrator In December 2000.

I have never been shown to be a threat or harm to my daughter- yet for the past 10 years I have not been able to see her past the confines of extremely structured and expensive supervised visits at best when I have been allowed to see her. There are numerous psychiatric reports on the courts file that state that I am not a threat or harm to my daughter quite contrary to that of the well documented violence and substance abuse of the perpetrator.

In a hearing on 10 April 2007, I asked yet again that my daughter be protected from abuse and at least have unsupervised visitation. Again the court refused. My daughter spoke out in 2000 2003 and three CPS reports have been filed but in all three, they claimed that I, the mother coached my child and punished both mother and child by restricting visitation time further. The lesson is clear – don’t report abuse.

In May 2007, after the International filing at the IACHR, I was enrolled automatically into the States Address confidentiality program Safe at home- I thank the State of Kansas for the program administered by the Secretary of State for victims of Domestic Violence-thereby protecting at least my address from the Abuser and the Courts by proxy.

In June 2007 my daughter’s Grandmother had made her last trip to Kansas in her wheel chair and on oxygen bringing with her Rikki’s dog to say good bye and to see her grandmother for the last time due to terminal end stage illness. The Court denied the supervised visit with her grandmother but allowed her to see her dog.

November 4th 2008 the courts further denied my daughter to even attend her grandmother’s funeral In Great Bend Kans.. and the court further gave the batterer complete control in allowing mother to see child even under the strict supervised visitation that had been implemented this past 1o years. The GAL however did give my daughter a 20$ gift certificate for the death of her granny.

April 2009- I asked again for visitation but was found in contempt of Court for a tribute video for my dead mother and daughter. I was asked to remove the video to which I did on April 6th They stated it was all removed and I was compliant with their requests..

October 2009 I spoke on a local television station with District Attorney Chad Taylor regarding Domestic Violence on the rise in Shawnee County. The next day, I was held in contempt of the court and my ‘Supervised Visitation’ had been suspended.

A ‘Supervised Visitation’ that I could not afford anyways and had not been able to see my daughter except for a precious few times since the death of her grandmother.

I am not allowed to have photographs of my daughter, or public court documents referencing this case, I am not allowed talk about this case; I am not to mention the violence incurred by the abuser. Even to this committee. Review for compliance is set for December 16, 2009, at 10:00 a.m.

I am not allowed to attend any school functions or to see my daughter; I have not been in any way found to be of harm or other threat to my daughter. If this committee can find out why I cannot see my daughter it would be greatly appreciated. And as to why I must be treated as a criminal and held in contempt and jailed for speaking with you today about the horrific injustice to my daughter and I. Complaints to BSRB, and Attorney discipline, as well as the Judicial Performance en re the Cannons have all been met with the ‘rubber stamp of ‘no ethics have been violated’.

I pray that when I die the GAL does not give to my daughter 20$ gift certificate.

Thank you for your time. If I can be of any further assistance to this committee please feel free to call upon me. I sincerely hope this committee can stop the genocide that has beseeched Kansas children.

Technorati Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Battered Mothers Rights - A Human Rights Issue.

Permalink

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Law Firm Ads Court Pedophiles, Rapists, and Child Beaters with Ugly Tactics

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

Permalink

 

http://usefularts. us/2009/11/ 29/bad-law- firm-ads/

Law Firm Ads Court Pedophiles, Rapists, and Child Beaters with Ugly Tactics

By Dave Wieneke on Nov 29, 2009 in Advertising, Featured, Legal practice, This can't be serious

I’ve blogged about firms finding growth by starting innovative gaming practices or going deep into biotech. But not all legal innovation is for the good.

The defense firm of Lindeman, Alvarado, & Frye has gone and started a kiddie-porn practice.  And what better choice of imagery for attracting child porn defendants than….yes, wait for it…… a guilty looking woman-child showing some skin.
(Please share  your comments on this below.)

lindeman alvarado frye kiddie porn defense

Here’s their copy, which again, I submit to the tender mercies of your comments:

An accusation of child sexual assault, abuse or molestation can be life-altering. Without the help of an experienced defense lawyer, you may face lengthy imprisonment and mandatory lifetime registration as a sex offender.

There are also the personal costs. Your reputation and standing in the community may never be the same. Your family relationships may be damaged permanently. With this much at stake, can you afford to hire an attorney who is anything less than extremely well-versed in both the legal and personal aspects of these cases?

Would anyone care to speculate on which “personal aspects of these cases” counsel may have been referring to?

In the court of bad advertising, can you plead insanity?
But wait, here are two more…..Lindeman, Alvarado, & Frye proceeds to go totally off the ranch with these other case types.

Plaintiff Intimidation Our Specialty?

lindeman alvarado frye kiddie violence defense

Hey, Sara-Lou, Daddy’s seeking a defense lawyer, how about these guys?

Would anyone like to send this firm a message?
Its simple to do. See my earlier post on Google sidewiki, and go type what you think of this firm’s advertising on their home page.

Their third web ad goes even further in stupid and tasteless bad advertising…

Who’s the Boss?

lindeman alvarado frye rape defense

Not that I’d wish to send them free advice, but wouldn’t it make more sense to use a photo of an innocent accused rapist than an apparently beaten woman?

After all, these guys — and yes, they are three male lawyers — are supposed to be creating the narrative that “this didn’t happen this way.” Instead, their ad looks like something the DA would enter as evidence.

If you’re as riled up by this, as I am, please join me in dishing out out some much-deserved ridicule.  Legal advertising is a mess; you can help make these guys the case that wakes up the bar associations, which regulate firm advertising on a mostly reactive basis.

Share comments, point this out to friends through social media, or (probably the most satisfying idea) make a Google Sidewiki comment right on the Lindeman, Alvarado, & Frye homepage.

Technorati Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

Permalink

Brevard County Florida: Domestic Violence Ignored

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

Permalink

Brevard County Florida: Domestic Violence Ignored

Less than two weeks ago in Brevard County, there was a SWAT team standoff involving father Christopher Lynch holding his wife and children hostage (see If You Want Protection from Domestic Violence in Brevard County Florida, Seek Elsewhere). Christopher Lynch's name was originally withheld from media reports although it was noted that he had a previous "domestic charge" that was not prosecuted.
Upon a little digging, we know that 18th Circuit Court of Brevard County judges James H. Earp, T. Mitchell Barlow, and John D. Moxley, Jr. have been responsible for the domestic violences cases--adjudication withheld, dismissed.
What ever happened? We don't know. Mum is the word in the Space Coast region.
And now, in Brevard County, there is a missing three year old child, kidnapped by his father, Paul Martikainen, during a court-ordered/allowed supervised visit. There is a history of "alleged" abuse noted.
Upon a little digging, we find a history similar to that of Christopher Lynch: VIOLENCE.

05-2009-MM-021621-AXXX-XX - STATE VS MARTIKAINEN PAUL


Initial Charge Information


Arst No.

Cnt

Offense Dt

Statute Number

Charge

Class

Degree

1

1

02/10/2009

827.03.1-C

FELONY CHILD ABUSE

FELONY

THIRD DEGREE

1

2

02/10/2009

784.03-C

BATTERY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

MISDEMEANOR

FIRST DEGREE

2

3

02/10/2009

741.31.4.A

VIOL OF INJUNCTION PROTECTION DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

MISDEMEANOR

FIRST DEGREE

Prosecutor Charge Information


Cnt

Pros Filing Dt

Statute Number

Charge

Class

Degree

Pros Action

Pros Act Dt

1

03/13/2009

784.03-A

BATTERY

MISDEMEANOR

FIRST DEGREE

FILED

03/13/2009

2

 

827.03.1-C

FELONY CHILD ABUSE

FELONY

THIRD DEGREE

NO ACTION

03/13/2009

3

 

741.31.4.A

VIOL OF INJUNCTION PROTECTION DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

MISDEMEANOR

FIRST DEGREE

NO ACTION

03/13/2009

Cnt

Record No.

Charge Dt

Statute

Charge

Disp Dt

Final Disp

Citation No.

1

1

02/10/2009

FELONY CHILD ABUSE

2

1

02/10/2009

877.03-A

BREACH OF PEACE DISORDERLY CONDUCT

06/04/2009

ADJUDICATION WITHHELD

3

2

02/10/2009

 

VIOL OF INJUNCTION PROTECTION DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

     

Violence Dismissed, but who is JULIE?:

J H FINCH VS P MARTIKAINEN


Case Number:

05-2009-DR-011864-XXXX-XX

Case Type:

REPEAT VIOLENCE

Filing Date:

02/11/2009

Case Judge:

CHARLES J ROBERTS

Case Status:

ORIGINAL DISP

Case Status Date:

02/24/2009

Check Out Date:

 

Charging Agency:

 

File Location:

/CLERK/TITUSVILLE/NEW ARCHIVES/DR 2009/

Jurisdiction Area:

CENTRAL


Case Alerts

 

Party Type

No.

Party Name

Status

Ptcpt Id

D.O.C. Nbr

PETITIONER

1

FINCH JULIE BENN

A

2339346

 

RESPONDENT

1

MARTIKAINEN PAUL

S

2463153

 

05-2009-DR-011864-XXXX-XX - J H FINCH VS P MARTIKAINEN
Case Status: 2 - ORIGINAL DISP


Complaint Date

Event

Seq

Cause of Action

Disp Date

Disp Description

02/11/2009

2800

1

REPEAT VIOLENCE INJUNCTION

02/24/2009

DISMISSED AFTER HEARING

These Brevard County Judges have the answers as to why the cases were adjudicated and dismissed:
CHARLES J ROBERTS
and
JOHN D MOXLEY JR
and
KELLY JO McKIBBEN
Where can children find safety in the State of Florida?


Related Posts :

Florida and children

· Brevard County Florida: Domestic Violence Ignored

· Downloading Child Porn, but Where Are the Children?

· If You Want Protection from Domestic Violence in Brevard County Florida, Seek Elsewhere

· Failing to Report and Reporting to Fail

· Operation Orangetree: Who's Your Daddy?

· Vicki Plant Was Appointed Guardian Ad Litem for My Child Sexual Abuse Case

· NCMEC and Florida, Who Woulda Thought?

restraining order

· Brevard County Florida: Domestic Violence Ignored

· Jackson County Circuit Court Judge Tim Barnack Is Obligated to Follow the Law, Even if It Means Putting Women and Children in Danger

· "But I Knew Him Like I Knew Him": Soul Mates [with a murderer]

· Stalking Statistics

· CNN Finally Addresses Father Killing Sprees

· I Charge the State of Illinois with Criminal Negligence

· Fathers' Rights Protect Perpetrators and Undermine Support for Domestic Violence Victims

Florida legal system

· Brevard County Florida: Domestic Violence Ignored

· If You Want Protection from Domestic Violence in Brevard County Florida, Seek Elsewhere

· Imminent Danger Protective Measures Denied by Maricopa County Superior Court Judge Jose Padilla, in Arizona

· Vicki Plant Was Appointed Guardian Ad Litem for My Child Sexual Abuse Case

· Family Court Judges and Domestic Violence

· In Texas and Florida--Court Ordered Exortion: Because "Families are Worth Saving"

· Requiring Parental Alienation Evaluators to Have Expertise in Domestic Violence

Technorati Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] A Human Rights Issue-Custodial Justice.

Permalink

"The Elephant in the Room" By Susan Murphy-Milano

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Battered Mothers Rights - A Human Rights Issue.

Permalink

"The Elephant in the Room"  

"TIME'S UP!"

TODAY'S TIME'S UP! WRITER

Today\
Susan Murphy Milano

SEARCHING OUT SOLUTIONS FOR VICTIMS OF CRIME

 

 

 

 

By Susan Murphy-Milano

Society provides wellness and support for those whom are survivors of various types of illiness, but what about crime survivors? Everyday, people are impacted by violent crimes such as rape, robbery, felony assault, hate crimes, domestic violence and child abuse. For victims of crimes they require healing that goes deeper than simply bringing the person responsible to justice. Crime survivors often find themselves grappling with difficult questions: How am I suppose to move on with my life? What will happen next? Will I ever feel safe again? Where can I get information? What are my rights? Who will simply listen to me and respect my feelings and decisions? Why is surviving a violent crime always the silent "elephant" in a room?

HOW TO SUPPORT A SURVIVOR OF CRIME

Ask them to talk about what happend to them. Listen and support what they are sharing with you. Do not offer opinions, judgements or advice about what you hear and read about in other cases or the news. Encourage the person to describe what they: Saw . . Heard . . . Thought . . . Smelled . . . Felt . . .

It is important to tell them they are valued and your caring for them has not changed. Tell them how much you appreciate them as a person and in your life.

Simply listen: Listen to his or her emotions as well as the story.

Understand that people communicate in other ways than with their words. Try to understand and take cues from your loved one's expressions and body language. Maybe they are nervous and figiting with their hands embarrassed by the crime. or afraid you will judge them merely because they are disclosing something they feel is embarassing. Take your hands and hold theirs as they speak to you.

Encourage them to set priorities and problem-solve with input from family and close friends.

Allow time to heal. Don’t tell them to "get over it." Remember that every day they may be re-experiencing the event through dreams, memories, emotions or injuries that take time to heal.

No one expects a broken bone to heal over night, but often people expect loved ones to "get over" trauma after a day or two.

Think of healing as a group issue, not an individual one. As a caring person, you are impacted too. Take time for yourself, be gentle with yourself and with others.

Facilitate support from your church, family members and friends.

Laughter as Ward Foley author of "Thank My Lucky Scars" and Why God Did Not Make Me a Woman Because I have Enough Problems" will tell you humor is the best medicine. Use humor (preferably not about the event.) Try to lighten up if you can. And whatever you do if you cannot say something nice then zipper up your lip and keep it to yourself.

Give hugs daily.

After some time has passed, review what has happened. Concentrate on how each person has changed or grown.

Crime Survivors often lack an appetite. And they will not eat, especially if they are isolated or left alone for long periods of time. Make their favorite meal and eat with them.

Surviving a violent crime takes courage and inner strength.

Plan outside activities, even if it is a walk around the block. Fresh air and excercise are very important.

Look on the Internet and research support groups of crime or assualt. Talk to the person about joining a group or ongoing discussion.

Plants and flowers in a home of a crime victim survivor are also very important. Perhaps create a project and plant blubs and flowers in their yard.Create a garden of items that they might enjoy that you could create on a window sill. It does not always have to be in a yard. Consider asking the church for volunteers to help with things from their garden that a person might enjoy.

Crime Victims deal with the aftermath three hundred and sixty-five days a year, seven days a week. Providing friendship and hope for just one day is a day less of painful thought and memory in the mind of a crime victim survivor.

POSTED BY TIME'S UP AT 4:56 AM

LABELS: CHERRY SIMPSONS POSTS, CNN, CRIME SURVIVOR, KAREN RAE ELKINS POSTS, OPRAH, PEACE4 THE MISSING.NATIONAL CRIME INFORMATION CENTER, SUSAN MURPHY MILANO POSTS

Technorati Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Battered Mothers Rights - A Human Rights Issue.

Permalink

Sugar Coating Crime SUSAN MURPHY MILANO'S JOURNAL

Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Battered Mothers Rights - A Human Rights Issue.

Permalink

Sugar Coating Crime

Tommy was in second grade and his older brother Angelo was in the sixth grade and each were looking forward to a thanksgiving holiday feast with their family in their illinois suburban home.

Early Wednesday morning, the day before thanksgiving their father baseball coach and "your average good guy" Thomas Mangiantini killed his wife, Elizabeth, 46, she was shot once in the head. The boys killed first, shoting his son Thomas Jr., 8, once in the head, and his other son, Angelo, 12, who suffered multiple gunshot wounds in the head. Afterwards the man took his own life.

Thanksgiving morning the lawn was still covered in crime scene tape and according to news acccounts a few families nearby changed their plans for the holiday making other arrangments for the day elsewhere.

The front pages of the Chicago papers likely moved the story of "President Obama pardons "Courage" (the turkey) in holiday ritual" changing the headline to the tragedy in bold face type " Dad, mom, 2 children found dead."

The man left a note in which investigators are" hopeful" will bring closure to the case---but I am not certain anyone will really know for sure what happend in this home, other then the obvious. A person whom is distraught in the last hours or moments of their life often leaves handwritten notes behind with the reasons for their actions? I have a news flash-you cannot go by what a person writes who is in this frame of mind. All they are really doing is explaining their personal view point. It is not the truth. So while the police are trying to analyze something a psycho killer wrote, the facts in the case, died with the murdered family members. Anyway you want tosugar coat this, it is still domestic violence homicide. Okay, policehave never been called to the home. Neither parents sought legal services for divorce or separtion. I don't want police or the public to dismiss this as "the man had problems", he was "mentally ill", or whatever other lable someone wants to use.

He carried out a plan to execute his family. Was it because he was sexually abusing one or both of the boys and someone was going to let out their secret? Was it because Elizabeth had finally decided the marriage was over and after the holidays she was going to file for divorce?

Prayers to the friends and family left to cope with such a devasting crime.

Technorati Tags: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Note: Cross posted from [wp angelfury] Battered Mothers Rights - A Human Rights Issue.

Permalink